As far as I’m concerned, there was nothing good about that day. At 3:05pm, I just left work and was going to the store when the call came in. My world as I knew it changed for good. I have never been the same person and, to be honest, a part of me died that day as well. I got the call from my brother. It was something I never expected; something I never thought it would ever happen. I mean, it may be a natural thing. But when it came to the greatest man who ever lived, it was never supposed to happen. The greatest man who ever lived, my father, had just passed away.

An avalanche of emotions hit me that same moment. Time ceased! I felt shock, grief, anger, confusion, sadness and worst of all pain, in one uncanny, malefic, sledge-hammer, and soul-crushing slam on my reality. This was never supposed to happen. My father cannot die! He’s my father! There was still so much we had to, so much more I had to do for him, he never even got to see his future grand children from me! The last I remember of him when he was alive, was at the airport when he turned around one more time to look at me and call my name right before he went to the terminal! That was the last I saw of him; and exactly twenty-eight days later, he left this world. His life expired.

I could not even cry like I wanted to at the funeral. I had to stay strong and comfort my sisters. They were an emotional train-wreck! I had to step away to wail like a child, because if my sisters saw me, they would break down even further. My brothers tried to stay strong as well, but this was our father and one could only stay strong for so long. In my privacy, I let it all out! The pain never eased up, the heartache never faded! I’d give everything I have, everything that I am to hear him laugh once again, or hear him snore across the house once again. I’d give it all up without batting an eye, without even thinking!

It only gets a little more tolerable over the years, but the pain is still as fresh as spring water from the mountains. I burn a candle for him every now and then. I burn a candle on April 2nd of every year since then and on his birthday and I cry and cry. I have had to stop so many times during this writing to dry my eyes and catch my breath. This has been the hardest piece of writing I have ever done in my life. I have grown a little stronger, but the pain is still there. At this point in time, I feel like nothing else and no one can harm me because I have experienced the worst there is to experience. A part of me may have died that day as well, but as long as my father lives in my heart, the part of me that died gave birth to a new, stronger and improved me.

I miss you, Dad! I really do!

But I love you more and you’ll always be alive in my heart.




White light is white light. When a beam of white light hits a red piece of glass, it comes out on the other side of the red piece glass as red light. When it hits a green piece of glass, it comes out on the other side of the green piece of glass as green light. The same thing happens for various colors of glass. In all cases, some of the light gets reflected back in the direction from which the beam of light came. When a prism is used, the white light is dispersed into seven different colors. In the case of a transparent, colorless piece of glass, most of the white light goes through as white light. Some of it gets reflected back, however.

Truth is like the beam of white light and the human mind is like a piece of glass upon which this beam of white light (Truth) lands on. The various colors of the pieces of glass represent the conditioning the human mind has acquired over a lifetime or many lifetimes; cultural, parental, political, religious, social, geographical, amongst other forms of conditioning. The various colors of light that result from white light passing through the various colors of the glass medium are synonymous to the ideologies, belief systems, governmental structures, idiosyncrasies, cultural background and even fanatical propensities that permeate the human race are all the spawns of the misrepresentation, misunderstanding and misconstruing of the fundamentals of our true identities.

For this cause, we fight, maim and kill one another in the name of ‘our beliefs’, ‘our teachings’, ‘our hopes’, ‘our constitution’, and ‘our truths’. Everyone else who is not in line with us becomes our enemy. Those who do not see ‘our light’ are ‘in the dark and are lost’ and must be punished or will suffer punishment at the hands of some supreme ruler, whose law is that of total obedience or suffer the consequences. Sometimes, in an effort to not be a part of the extreme, we take upon the mantle of having several beliefs and opinions. We train our minds to act as a prism, splitting the truth into various ‘truths’. And we whip out the fist of justification to assert our stance, without even realizing that if something requires justification, then it is not Truth in itself. It is only an illusion because Truth requires no justification. Truth just is!

If only we could change our perspective and shift our focus to beyond the medium of the mind. We could stop looking at the result of our minds and start paying attention to the white light itself; we could let Truth teach us and reveal itself to us rather than us letting our intelligence get in the way. Only when we start looking towards the source itself that our minds can become as clear as colorless glass pieces, and then can we manifest the Truth in our daily lives in as pure of its form as we can. Truth would then flow through us naturally because it is our true identity. Truth and Consciousness then become one and inseparable in us and once this change takes place on an individual basis, then we can impact our world in a very different but more beautiful way.



Part One: Religion and its Promises

Why do we do the things we do? Are humans intrinsically altruistic? Are humans motivated by fear, greed, passion, or the rewards that may come with tomorrow’s promises? Why do we live? What is the purpose, the meaning, the reason, the logic? What if everything you thought was true was a lie? What if all you lived for or hoped for vanished like a kiss in the wind? What if all your motivation got washed away like waves to writing on the beach?

What if you discover there is no heaven, no hell, or no afterlife? What if you find out there are no seventy-two virgins waiting for you on the other side? What if you find out that the one you thought or called “God” is not an old man with a beard, or a woman with all the wisdom of wisdom itself? What if you realize that the ego is neither good nor bad and that the karma you have struggled so hard to minimize or fight is just a figment of one’s mind; a product of the ego itself. What if you come to terms with the fact that the cycle of birth and rebirth is neither endless nor existent and that nirvana is not out there but in here? What do you do then?

Truth requires neither justification nor the slaughter of humans. Only human ideologies and institutionalized thinking require such. When one is stripped of all one knows, knew or thought one knew, when there exists no purpose or hope, when past and future are seen for what they really are, when one assumes the stands of neither friend nor foe, when one becomes the immovable center in the spinning wheel of life, when the denial stops and acceptance begins, when the fighting ceases and one totally lets go, when one is becomes still in the seeming chaos, then one can be who one really is. One can embrace one’s true identity and see the oneness of All-That-Is.