2014, The Year of Peace

        

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          On April 2nd, 2010, right around 3:23 pm EST, my life took a drastic turn. It was a Good Friday but there was nothing good about that day as far as I was concerned. That was the day I experienced what pain is for the very first time in my life and because of that experience, my father passing away, I sometimes feel like the worst has happened to me and I can never be hurt again. I could be right, I could be wrong; regardless, I will never forget that day.

          For the next four years, five months and eight days, I would exist but I would not live. I call this period my zombie stage. I was alive on the outside, but inside, I was a soulless corpse. My psyche was in a place that I never want to be again in my life. Even though I thought I had returned to normal, I could not be any further from the truth. The life I led and the decisions I made during that time span were all influenced by a very fracture psyche that was my new normal. Unfortunately, I was suffering from the frog syndrome; I had become so accustomed to my pain and suffering that I did not even realize my personal state of affairs at the time was not a force to be reckoned with.

          But then, on September 10th, 2014, right around 6:17 am EST, I woke up both literally and psychically. My personal sun had risen once again and a new life had begun for me. A culmination of events and decisions had contribution to my new awakening and for the first time in over four years, I could finally see clearly through my darkest period of my present lifetime. On that morning, I found my peace! Yes, I found my peace! I still miss my father, the greatest man who ever lived, but the pain no longer has a hold me like before. I could now see the pain and suffering and encase it in peace and solace. On Good Friday, 2010, I was burned to charcoal but on September 2014, I was reborn as diamond. After all, a diamond is just charcoal that has handled pressure really well.

          So this blog piece is a special dedication to all my family, my friends (at home and internally) and my amazing partner. I would like to say THANK YOU for everything; for putting up with me during my darkest hours, for tolerating me and my errors and for celebrating the beauty of life with me during this new ongoing day. I can never be grateful enough. I may not yet be like a flawless piece of diamond, but thanks to you all, I am getting there. You are the beauty I seek, you are the love I have and you are the life I live. Thank you for a most amazing 2014, the Year of Peace, and for many more years to come!

PONDERISMS

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PART ONE: I AM.

            Whenever one is asked to the question, “Could you please tell me something about yourself?” the general answer to this question would constitute one’s name, age, work/educational status, relationship status, location, family, and sometimes ethnicity and nationality. Usually, these responses are nothing but a regurgitation of various aspects of one’s conditioning that one has donned on oneself as factual and true (and in a sense these are all true). They constitute one’s ‘story’ and, consequently, on a broader scale, one’s identity.

The very term ‘identity’ comes from two Latin words “idem”, which means “same” or identical”, and “facere”, which means “to make”. So an identity is something that is trying to make or create a semblance of something else (that is original). It is an imitation of the real thing; meaning that an identity is merely a copy, a fake or an illusion of what is real. There is actually nothing wrong with having an identity; it is part and parcel of the three-dimensional plane on which one resides. However, when one becomes trapped in this sense of self that is fake and false, and holds this to be ultimately true, then one becomes misguided and one misses the point. In other words, when one holds on to the illusion as true, then one is bound to suffer in the very ignorance that one finds oneself in. As such, one is bound to ask the very question that Humankind has been asking since its very existence; WHO AM I?

The letter “I” may be the loneliest letter in the English alphabet, but at the same time, it is the only letter that holds the ultimate truth and in the same breath, harbors the only illusion there is. It is no coincidence that the personal pronoun “I” when translated to Latin is “ego”, which is the exact, general term used to describe the world of form; the ego. Usually, many people ascribe all that is negative to this term, but that may not be entirely true. We just stated about that the ego represents all that is in the world of illusion and that includes all the bad and all the good. Yes, the ego also includes all that is good. Let us use some examples to explain this situation.

Would you classify a knife as dangerous or something good? The argumentative response would be that “it depends on what it’s used for” and this is justified. Use a knife to cook some food and feed the hungry, and it you have done something good. Use a knife to commit murder, and you have done something bad. So, is a knife a good thing or a bad thing? The fact is, a knife just is, but it is one’s individual perception or the way one uses a knife that brings about the notion of a knife being a good thing or a bad thing. The medium of the mind then sets in and causes a situation in which a knife is either identified as something good or something bad. I would like to refer the reader to my post entitled The Analogy of Light for further understanding on the subject of how the medium of the mind can cause aberrations of the truth and generate illusions.

We return to the question again of WHO AM I? In the previous two paragraphs, we have focused on the illusionary part of the letter “I”. Now we will focus on the ultimate truth of this letter. Consider the following scenario. If one plants a seed of corn in the ground, it bears corn. The same is true with any other seed. The human body is merely a vessel, albeit a most amazing and complex protoplasmic constituency. Regardless, it is still a vessel, a house, a temple. Various religions and cultures hold this same belief. The Christian Bible even has some verses in them relating to this situation:

          “Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit,” 1 Corinthians 6:19

Please note that the verse says “your body” and not “you are the temple of the Holy Spirit.” This belief is so profound that the Ancient Egyptians built an entire temple to mimic the human physiognomy at Luxor that has been called The Temple of Man.

So, if our bodies are just temples, then who are we? In the story of creation of the first couple in the Book of Genesis, it is says:

“And the Lord God formed man out of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the Breath of Life.” Genesis 2:7.

If Man (formed out of the ground) is symbolic of the ground and the Breath of Life is symbolic of the God-life (for lack of a better term), then who are we? If corn seeds beget corn, bean seeds beget beans, then who does God, The Divine, The All-That-Is, The Nameless-Formless One (and all the myriad of names that have been given to this “entity”) beget? Every time one says, “I am this or that.” one assigns limits to your true nature and being. One is going for papier marche instead of the real deal. One is settling for the lie instead of the truth. The Christian Bible has a very simple (but frightening to most) answer to this question:

“I have said, ‘You are Gods…’” Psalms 82:6

And when Moses asked the Voice in the burning bush what to tell the Israelites when he (Moses) was asked who sent him, the Voice said:

“I Am who I Am,” Exodus 3:14

Since you hail from and are inseparable from this same fabric of divinity and truth, the answer to the question “WHO AM I?” is the same response given to Moses, or in simpler terms: I AM….